Issue 09 vs.
Newcastle Utd
CategoryIssues 1 to 10
Tags
Beached Whale, Gary Gill, Schmultz, Scotty of Saltburn, Tannoy
Since our last issue we’ve only gained one point from three games. The relegation alarm bells aren’t ringing just yet and quite rightly so, after all, no one would be tipping us for the title had we won those games. It’s just that we’ve gone through lean patches at this stage of the season for the last couple of years now. It’s only when Bruce manages to keep us going all season that silverware will follow.
Many thanks to all our writers, who’ve made it possible to put out an issue for the following two Saturdays when we play Liverpool and Derby respectively. Keep writing, it’s your fanzine.
Finally, the winner of the Caption Competition in Issue 6 (drum roll please) goes to Miffy of Ormesby who’s winning entry was “So that’s where Deano’s left boot went”. £5 on it’s way to you Miffy.
The Bounty
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A Real Page Turner
Where has the humour gone from the terraces? Earlier on in the season people were laughing and telling gags on a regular basis, but now (if the Coventry game is anything to go by) all you hear are loud mouthed pillocks blaming every misplaced pass on the weather conditions, the passing player, the intended recipient or maybe both in the case of Bernie Slaven, who bore the brunt of their anger.
Still i suppose your always going to get the people who only go to the match to have a good moan. It probably gives them a break from yelling at their kids or beating the wife. So where has the humour gone? Why did we all have big smiles on our faces prior to kick off, but not now? I’ll answer that with one word (sorry two words)… Mark Page.
For a handful of games earlier in the season dear old Bernard Gent was a bit poorly so Mark was given the job on a regular basis, and it worked wonders. Who can forget the excellent (who cares if they’re ancient) jibes at the expense of the Mags and Mackems. Or when he read out the West Ham team sheet paying particular attention to Dicks and Dickens (they really are unfortunate names).
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve nowt against dear old Bernard but he has been doing the job since the year dot. Lets get Mark back in the hot seat to give us a giggle before the game. Lets face it, at the end of the day entertainment is the name of the game.
Common Criminals
In February 1905 Boro hadn’t won away for two years and were second bottom in the league. Drastic measures were required and £1000 was splashed out on Sunderland centre forward Albert Tipple… only joking, it was of course Alf Common.
The enormity of the fee caused national shock. The idea that a team should buy its way out of trouble was abhorred – instead it was widely felt that we should have accepted relegation with honour.
However it did the trick and the Boro were safe by April. Common went on to captain Boro and gain England honours however Boro were disgraced.
More shocks next season when Boro were found to have made irregular payments to players and were fined £250 with eleven of the board suspended for two years. It was common practise for these payments to be made but unfortunately it was Boro who were caught and made an example of.
Financial trouble ensued and in 1906 an FA commission found Boro’s books so unsatisfactory that an investigation into the clubs affairs was launched. It’s findings can be summed up in one word – chaos.
Gate money had been going missing, the chairman (Colonel Poole) took money home and was found to owe the club £500. As a result the then manager, Alex Machie was suspended. The chairman however escaped punishment. Perhaps he used the money to open Poole Hospital?
Hard to believe then that mild mannered Boro were once looked upon as a bunch of crooks – although looking at the not too distant past perhaps it isn’t.
Another View to a Gill
In reply to Endy’s recent article defending Gary Gill, one reader was moved to write the following reply…
I would like to voice my feelings on ‘Go Go Gary Gill – i wish he would go, go to Darlo that is. Brian Little needs you Gilly. We certainly don’t want you at the Boro. The last straw for me came after i saw him played of the park by an old man in a pre-season friendly against Norton. How the hell he was captain i’ll never know. A gadgie next me summed it up when he shouted to Brucie “Get Gill off and give one of the Y.T.S lads a chance.” Just goes to show what a load of rubbish Gill really is.
It was strange that Endy wrote Gill was 100% pro and a tryer. With all respect ‘Endy’ i must contradict this view. Gill doesn’t try nor give 100% all he concentrates on is taking Boro for a ride and picking up a sizeable pay cheque every week for doing nothing but making a complete fool of himself in the 2nd Division of the Central League, where he still gets played off the park by Y.T.S lads.
The only time i’ve applauded him was when Burke replaced him at Southampton. I was glad to see the back of him and with the noisy reaction to Burkey’s entrance Gill must now realise that he will never play for the Boro’s first team again. He did absolutely nothing in the game, where as his replacement turned it on it’s head.
Yes Gary i’m afraid you must go and please never come back. Oh yes and please take that big spud Kernaghan with you. No hard feelings Endy. Up the Boro.
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