In the summer of 1994 I attended a handful of World Cup matches at Stanford Stadium in San Francisco. The whole experience was very surreal, not least because England themselves weren’t playing.

One of the things I found most interesting was how the US public were taking to our national sport. There was a genuine curiosity as they came in their thousands to see what all the fuss was about. 

During one of the games I attended, I forget which; I overheard the following exchange between two friends, let’s call them A and B. It remains one of my favorite memories of the tournament.

• A: So what are the rules?
• A: Like what’s the minimum I need to know?
• B: Well you can use any part of your body to control the ball
• B: But you can’t pick it up or use your hands
• A: Why not?
• B: Because that would be a foul
• B: The opposition would get a free kick
• A: So what? It’s like a turnover?
• B: Ermm… yeah kind of
• A: And these guys just need to score on these other guys, right?
• B: Pretty much
• A: Ok, cool
• [time passes]
• A: Hey wait a minute a minute that guy just picked it up!
• B: That’s ok he’s the goalkeeper
• A: But you said no one could use their hands
• B: Well no one apart from the goalkeeper
• A: So why doesn’t he just run with it
• B: Because he can’t go any further than the edge of his box
• A: What box?
• B: Ermm, ok so… he can’t travel more than 18 yards, that’s his limit
• A: Ahhhh ok I get it, but he can pick the ball up right?
• B: Yeah
• A: But no one else?
• B: No
• A: Ohhhhhkay…
• A: Can he bounce it?
• B: Sure
• A: Got it
•  [time passes - ball goes out for a throw in]
• A: Hey, look! That guy just picked it up
• B: No that’s ok its…
• [ball given to a different player to take throw in]
• A: Hey! now that guys picking it up, foul! right?!?
• B: No, no it’s a throw in
• A: But you said
• B: [becoming increasingly frustrated]
• B: Look I know, but if it goes out of bounds you can throw it back in
• A: Can you kick it back in?
• B: No you can only use your hands
• A: But I thought you could only…
• B: [interrupting] …it’s different for a throw in
• A: Well okay then… [deflated] but that’s not what you said man
• B: I know, I know, but let’s just enjoy the game
• B: That’s pretty much everything now anyway
• A: Alright, so out of bounds is ok, the goaltenders can…
• A: Woah! hang on! What’s this guy doing!?!?
• B: It’s a free kick
• A: But he’s picking it up!!!
• B: [sighs]
• A: I thought you said…

 

Footnote:
This pretty much went on for the duration of the game, im not sure they even spoke at the final whistle.